The Myth of the Pit Bull Divorce Attorney
What Does it Really Mean to Divorce?
Divorce is just a legal term. When you decide to part ways with your spouse, you still have to be able to communicate with one another and jointly raise your children into adulthood. Despite the divorce, there will be soccer games, school events, birthday parties, graduations, weddings, and many other activities to attend. Your divorce will set the stage for the dynamics of your new and very different relationship with your spouse, and I believe it should be as civil and stress-free as possible.
Why Hiring a Pitbull Divorce Attorney is a Mistake
You have probably seen the ads for lawyers who brag about how aggressive they are in “going after” the spouse in a divorce case. Many people refer to these lawyers as “pit bulls” and think this is the type of lawyer they should hire for their case. Overly aggressive lawyers can sidetrack your case, set the wrong tone in negotiations, interfere with a settlement, and drive up legal fees. More often than not, lawyers like this make the entire process uncomfortable for everyone involved.
Families Often Come Last in Divorce
When I was a young lawyer, I practiced law exactly how I was taught – to “win” no matter the emotional cost. It’s not that lawyers or their clients are bad people. It’s just that today’s divorce processes and the roles that everyone plays are not designed to achieve an outcome that reflects a family’s real-world needs. Every divorce is unique, thus the process of separation should be individualized, tailored to fit each family.
Confidence, competence, and assertiveness are all valuable characteristics of a family law attorney, but you do not need a pit bull to handle your divorce. You do need someone who can say “no” when necessary in negotiating a good deal for you, but you do not need someone who bullies others. A great attorney will be as aggressive as is necessary in the case. It is usually a significant advantage to start off the case in a nice, civil fashion, offering a road map for a speedy resolution of the case through settlement.
If you are considering divorce, you probably have many questions about the divorce process, including the division of property, assets, and debts; child custody, support, and visitation; and spousal support, also known as alimony. Rather than hiring the guy who boldly claims to ‘win’ at all costs, engaging a well-respected attorney who specializes in divorce and family law, knows the legal roadblocks, and patiently guides you through the daunting divorce process is paramount to getting the results you desire.
It’s Your Divorce, After All
If you have consulted with a family law attorney in Albuquerque and he or she is too aggressive or seems to be promising too much, you should probably keep looking. At New Mexico Legal Group, we encourage those who are considering divorce to take ownership of the process rather than surrendering their power to seeming ‘experts’. The customary path to separation in this country is a machine that takes an already troubled family and chews it to bits. But it doesn’t have to be this way. There is a more peaceable solution that can help those who choose to divorce get through a difficult time in the least destructive manner possible.